Last day of school, stock

I need to get out of here... 


As school principal,

I sometimes police litter,

adjust loud music

and act as a babysitter.


The loud music I describe

was on school’s first day,

and then practically daily

clear through the month of May.


The perpetrator purchased

a new car last summer,

then cranked his tunes near my office,

can’t get much dumber.


Another one is graffiti

in the bathroom stalls.

Words written about me

in permanent marker scrawls.


Broken vending machines

from being shaken too hard

and the unauthorized use

of my library card.


Then arguments, quarrels,

squabbling and bickering.

As I broke these up

others just sat back snickering.


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This year I ended betting

on professional sports

and sent home to change

a fellow dressed in cut-off shorts.


Unexcused absences

are always a great concern,

followed by vague doctor notes.

When will they ever learn?


Then there’s stolen sack lunches

and strange stains on the rug,

plus the harassment case

of the ponytail tug.


It’s been a long year

and now that the end is in sight,

I erred in thinking

that it brought the end of my plight.


The last-day-of-school rally

was held in the gym.

When right below my seat,

I heard her, giggling at him.


I rooted those two out

hiding beneath the bleachers.

Oh, how I need a summer break…

from all these teachers!


Dominic "Flominic" Farrenkopf